Joke of the Day – Time to Rest
TIME
A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city’s major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.
“Yes?”
“Excuse me, sir,” the jogger said, “do you have the time?”
The man looked at the car clock and answered, “8:15”. The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.
“Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?”
“8:25!”
The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, “I do not know the time!”
Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.
“Sir, sir? It’s 8:45!”
Funny Jokes – Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day – Deaf Jokes
What does Santa Claus say when he loses his hearing-aids?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
Why can’t a deaf person be sent to prison?
Because you can’t condemn someone without a hearing.
What do you call a deaf teacher?
Anything you like, he can’t hear you.
Good News Bad News Joke
A machine operator comes home from the factory and tells his wife:
“Honey, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. First, the good
news: I got $25,000.00 severance pay!”
His wife said: “$25,000.00 in severance pay? That’s great! Now,
what’s the bad news?”
He said: “Wait till you hear what was severed!”
Wedding Joke
Psychiatrists say girls tend to marry men like their fathers.
That is probably the reason mothers cry at weddings.
Computer Joke
“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human
history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.”
Mitch Ratliffe
Clocks in Heaven (humor)
Clocks in Heaven (humor)
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”
St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks, Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.”
“Oh,” said the man, “Whose clock is that?”
“That’s Billy Graham‘s. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie.”
“Incredible,” said the man, “And whose clock is that one?” St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln‘s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire Life.”
“Where’s Hillary Clinton‘s clock?” asked the man.
“Hillary’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”
Definition
ELBONICS (el bon’ iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one
armrest in a movie theater.
Milkman Joke
The Handwriting On The Wall
Did you hear about the man who never worried about his marriage until he
moved from New York to California and discovered that he still had the same
milkman.
Joke of the Day - Jokes of the Day 