Happy New Year – Is Everybody Happy

January 3, 2009 at 7:43 pm (Comedy, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Political Humor, Political Jokes, President) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Happy New Year…Is Everybody Happy!!!??? (Author A. Nonymous)
I want you to be the first to send you this Happy New Year greeting
As I reflect on 2008, I can say we had a great year:
Blacks are happy: Obama was elected.
Whites are happy: O.J. Simpson is in jail.
Democrats are happy: George Bush is leaving office.
Republicans are happy: Democrats will finally quit saying George Bush stole the election.
And all of us are happy: The election is finally over!
2009 should be even better:

Immediately after his inauguration, Barack Hussein Obama will balance the budget, revive the economy, solve the real estate problem, solve the auto industry problem, solve our gas/alternative energy problem, stop the fires and mudslides in California, ban hurricanes and tornadoes, stop identity theft, reverse global warming, find Osama bin Laden, solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, get rid of corruption in government and achieve world peace. Then on the 7th day, He will go back to Hawaii and rest!

– Source unknown (it came from my MIL)
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Dear Fellow Business Owner

October 27, 2008 at 5:04 pm (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Political Humor, Political Jokes, Politics, President) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Posted today at Funny Jokes

Dear Fellow Business Owner

Dear Fellow Business Owners:

As a business owner who employs 30 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama will be our next president, and that my taxes and fees will go up in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Customer will have to see an increase in my fees to them of about 8-10%. I will also have to lay off six of my employees. This really bothered me as I believe we are family here and didn’t know how to choose who will have to go. So, this is what I did.

I strolled thru the parking lot and found eight Obama bumper stickers on my employees cars. I have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off.

I can’t think of another fair way to approach this problem. If you have a better idea, let me know. I am sending this letter to all business owners that I know.

Sincerely,

Business Owner

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Joke of the Day – Time to Rest

September 7, 2008 at 10:47 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

TIME

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city’s major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.

“Yes?”

“Excuse me, sir,” the jogger said, “do you have the time?”

The man looked at the car clock and answered, “8:15”. The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.

“Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?”

“8:25!”

The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, “I do not know the time!”

Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.

“Sir, sir? It’s 8:45!”

More Funny Jokes

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Funny Jokes – Joke of the Day

June 1, 2008 at 11:13 am (Comedy, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day) (, , , , , )

Joke of the Day – Deaf Jokes

What does Santa Claus say when he loses his hearing-aids?
Huh? Huh? Huh?

Why can’t a deaf person be sent to prison?
Because you can’t condemn someone without a hearing.

What do you call a deaf teacher?
Anything you like, he can’t hear you.

Language Jokes

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Good News Bad News Joke

April 11, 2008 at 9:49 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day) (, , , , , )

A machine operator comes home from the factory and tells his wife:

“Honey, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. First, the good

news: I got $25,000.00 severance pay!”

His wife said: “$25,000.00 in severance pay? That’s great! Now,

what’s the bad news?”

He said: “Wait till you hear what was severed!”

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Wedding Joke

April 10, 2008 at 2:27 pm (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Marriage, Psychiatrist Jokes) (, , , , )

Psychiatrists say girls tend to marry men like their fathers.

That is probably the reason mothers cry at weddings.

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Computer Joke

April 8, 2008 at 11:48 am (Computer Jokes, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day) (, , , , , , , )

“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human

history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.”

Mitch Ratliffe

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Clocks in Heaven (humor)

April 5, 2008 at 9:10 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Democrat, Democrats, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day) (, , , , , , , , )

Clocks in Heaven (humor)

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks, Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.”

“Oh,” said the man, “Whose clock is that?”
“That’s Billy Graham‘s. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie.”

“Incredible,” said the man, “And whose clock is that one?” St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln‘s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire Life.”

“Where’s Hillary Clinton‘s clock?” asked the man.

“Hillary’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

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Definition

April 2, 2008 at 10:06 am (joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day) (, , , , , )

ELBONICS (el bon’ iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one

armrest in a movie theater.

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Milkman Joke

March 25, 2008 at 10:09 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Funny, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day) (, , , , , , )

The Handwriting On The Wall

Did you hear about the man who never worried about his marriage until he

moved from New York to California and discovered that he still had the same

milkman.

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