Happy New Year – Is Everybody Happy

January 3, 2009 at 7:43 pm (Comedy, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Political Humor, Political Jokes, President) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Happy New Year…Is Everybody Happy!!!??? (Author A. Nonymous)
I want you to be the first to send you this Happy New Year greeting
As I reflect on 2008, I can say we had a great year:
Blacks are happy: Obama was elected.
Whites are happy: O.J. Simpson is in jail.
Democrats are happy: George Bush is leaving office.
Republicans are happy: Democrats will finally quit saying George Bush stole the election.
And all of us are happy: The election is finally over!
2009 should be even better:

Immediately after his inauguration, Barack Hussein Obama will balance the budget, revive the economy, solve the real estate problem, solve the auto industry problem, solve our gas/alternative energy problem, stop the fires and mudslides in California, ban hurricanes and tornadoes, stop identity theft, reverse global warming, find Osama bin Laden, solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, get rid of corruption in government and achieve world peace. Then on the 7th day, He will go back to Hawaii and rest!

– Source unknown (it came from my MIL)
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Dear Fellow Business Owner

October 27, 2008 at 5:04 pm (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Political Humor, Political Jokes, Politics, President) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Posted today at Funny Jokes

Dear Fellow Business Owner

Dear Fellow Business Owners:

As a business owner who employs 30 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama will be our next president, and that my taxes and fees will go up in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Customer will have to see an increase in my fees to them of about 8-10%. I will also have to lay off six of my employees. This really bothered me as I believe we are family here and didn’t know how to choose who will have to go. So, this is what I did.

I strolled thru the parking lot and found eight Obama bumper stickers on my employees cars. I have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off.

I can’t think of another fair way to approach this problem. If you have a better idea, let me know. I am sending this letter to all business owners that I know.

Sincerely,

Business Owner

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Joke of the Day – Funny Jokes – Creating JOBS

November 24, 2007 at 5:26 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Humour, Jobs, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Political Humor, Political Jokes, Politics, President) (, , , , , , , )

Funny Jokes – Creating JOBS

Two older gents working as waiters were talking:

“You’ve got to give the President credit for creating all of these new
jobs.”

“Yes, I know, I have three of them.”

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Presidential candidates

April 20, 2007 at 6:37 pm (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Democrat, Democrats, Economics, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, Internet, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Political Humor, Political Jokes, Politics, President)

Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton , Barack Obama and John Edwards were flying to a convention. Barack looked at Hillary, chuckled and said, “You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.”

Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, “I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy.”

John added, “That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy.”

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his copilot, “Such big-shots back there. I could throw all of them out of the window and make 156 million people very happy.”

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Funny Jokes – Joke of the Day – Stupidest Statements Awards

January 12, 2007 at 7:38 pm (Awards, Blonde, Blonde Jokes, Blondes, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Democrat, Democrats, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, President)

“Stupidest Statements Awards” of 2006

The “Stupidest Statements Awards” of 2006, bestowed upon famous people for their misjudgments and misstatements, have just been announced by Mega Genius, “the man with the perfect IQ.” His fourth annual prizes of recognition for what he calls “crash-and-burn lapses in intelligence” by well-known personalities are just for fun.

1. Paris Hilton, “celebutante” and hotel heiress who revealed to the Los Angeles Times, “The stupid blond stereotype, it was cute for a while, but I’m over that now,” (August 13, 2006) for her grasp of world affairs, when asked by British GQ magazine if she was a fan of Tony Blair, Prime Minister of the UK: “Tony who? Oh yeah, he’s like your president? I don’t know what he looks like.” August 5, 2006.

2. Ted Stevens, 82-year-old US Senator from Alaska and chairman of the Senate Committee on Science, Commerce and Transportation, for explaining in a speech how the Internet actually works: “It’s a series of tubes.” June 28, 2006.

3. Guy Fournier, chairman of the Canadian Broadcasting Corp., for his false allegation in Quebec’s 7 Jours magazine, which resulted in his resignation: “[Translated] In Lebanon, the law allows men to have sexual intercourse with animals, as long as they are females. Doing the same thing with male beasts can result in the death penalty.” September 9, 2006.

4. George W. Bush, US President, for his answer at a press conference when he was asked if the tide was turning in Iraq: “I think tide turning see, as I remember I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of it’s easy to see a tide turn did I say those words?” June 14, 2006.

5. Charles Barkley, Basketball Hall of Famer, for his approach to his gambling addiction, which he told ESPN was a “stupid habit” that he estimated had cost him $10 million: “Do I think it’s a bad habit? Yes, I think it’s a bad habit. Am I going to continue to do it? Yes, I’m going to continue to do it.” May 3, 2006.

6. Andrew Young, civil rights leader and former Georgia congressman, UN ambassador and Atlanta mayor, who was hired to improve Wal-Mart’s image, but then resigned after telling the Los Angeles Sentinel that mom-and-pop stores have been overcharging for “stale bread and bad meat and wilted vegetables” and that Wal-Mart should cause them to close: “Well, I think they should. I think they’ve ripped off our communities enough. First it was Jews, then it was Koreans and now it’s Arabs; very few black folks own these stores.” August 17, 2006.

7. George Allen, US Senator and former Governor of Virginia (whose mother comes from Tunisia), for his repeated use of a North African racial slur during a political rally “Macaca” (monkey) directed at a 20-year-old Virginian native, of Indian descent, who worked for the senator’s political opponent: “Let’s give a welcome to Macaca here. Welcome to America and the real world of Virginia.” August 11, 2006.

8. Michael Richards, three-time Emmy Award winning actor who played Cosmo Kramer on the hit TV show “Seinfeld,” for his onstage racial tirade at the Laugh Factory, in West Hollywood, after a black heckler shouted that he wasn’t funny: Fifty years ago, we’d have you upside down with a [bleep] fork up your [bleep]! You can talk, you can talk, you’re brave now, [bleep]. Throw his [bleep] out. He’s a [bleep]! He’s a [bleep]! He’s a [bleep]! A [bleep], look, there’s a [bleep] November 17, 2006.

9. Alan Hevesi, New York State Comptroller, for his allegation in his commencement address, at Queen’s College, describing US Senator Charles Schumer, his fellow state politician, in a manner that he later admitted was “beyond dumb,” “incredibly moronic,” and “remarkably stupid”: “The man who, how do I phrase this diplomatically, who will put a bullet between the president’s eyes if he could get away with it.” June 1, 2006.

10. Dave Lenihan, talk show host at radio station KTRS, in St. Louis, for mispronouncing the word “coup” when praising US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice’s qualifications for National Football League commissioner: “She loves football. She’s African-American, which would kind of be a big coon. A big coon! Oh my god! I am totally, totally, totally, totally, totally sorry for that!” March 22, 2006.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funny-jokes/

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Joke of the Day – Creating Jobs

July 28, 2006 at 11:55 pm (Daily Joke, Economics, Funny, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Jobs, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Politics, President)

Joke of the Day – Creating Jobs
Two older gents working as waiters were talking:

“You’ve got to give the President credit for creating all of these new jobs.”

“Yes, I know, I have three of them.”

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