Mother’s Day Jokes
Mother’s Day Joke
Last year I got my wife a Mothers’ Day gift that left her speechless.
In fact, she didn’t speak to me for three weeks.
Mothers Day Jokes
You Know You Have Become a Mother When…
You automatically double-knot everything you tie.
You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes.
You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth even though your children are at school!
You start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce.
You weep through the scene in Dumbo when his mom is taken away, not to mention what Bambi does to you.
You get so into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells.
You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, “Mom, why don’t you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?”
You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you’ve reached over and started to cut up his steak!
Ronald Reagan
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
– Ronald Reagan
Government is the Great Fiction
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
– Frederic Bastiat
Government Quotes – Funny Quotes
Funny Government Quotes
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
– P.J. O’Rourke
Funny Quotes – Foreign Aid
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
– Douglas Casey
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
– G. Gordon Liddy
Sayings
Funny Government Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
– George Bernard Shaw
Quotes
Government Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
– Winston Churchill
Government Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.
– Mark Twain
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
If you don’t read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.
– Mark Twain