Joke of the Day – Lawyer Jokes
A lawyer was out golfing when he was hit in the head by a golf ball.
When the other golfer came to get his ball the lawyer said, “I’m a lawyer and this is going to cost you $5,000.”
The other golfer said, “Didn’t you hear me yell FORE?”
The lawyer then said, “I’ll take it!!!”
Murphy’s Laws – Lesser Known Murphy’s Laws
Murphy’s Lesser-Known Dictums:
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself In the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
EQUAL HOLIDAYS
EQUAL HOLIDAYS
An atheist was quite incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided to contact the local ACLU about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while the atheists had no holidays for them to celebrate. The ACLU jumped on the opportunity to once again pick up the cause of the downtrodden and assigned their sharpest attorney to the case.
The case was brought up before a learned judge who after listening to the passionate presentation by the ACLU representative, promptly banged his gavel and said, “Case dismissed!”
The ACLU lawyer stood up and objected to the ruling and said, “Your honor, how can you dismiss this case? Surely the Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. And the Jews, why in addition to Passover they have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah … and yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!”
The judge leaned back in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to know about or for that matter even celebrate the atheists holiday!”
The ACLU lawyer pompously said, “We are aware of no such holiday for atheists … just when might that be?”
The judge said, “Well it comes every year at the same time … April 1st!”
Audi Alteram Parten…..
Audi Alteram Parten…..
During a Law course class, the ‘Audi Alteram Parten’ rule was explained. Translated it means “To hear the other party”
After discussing the subject at great length, the lecturer asked if anyone didn’t understand the rule.
Responded one woman, “My husband!”
Joke of the Day - Jokes of the Day 