Government is the Great Fiction

May 5, 2009 at 6:34 am (1) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Funny Quotes – Government Quotes

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.

– Frederic Bastiat

Quotes Funny

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Government Quotes – Funny Quotes

May 4, 2009 at 11:31 am (1) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Funny Government Quotes

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

– P.J. O’Rourke

Government Quotes

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Funny Quotes – Government Quotes

May 1, 2009 at 6:24 am (1) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Funny Quotes – Government Quotes

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

– G. Gordon Liddy

Sayings

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Funny Jokes

October 30, 2008 at 8:22 am (1)

Bereavement

A bereaved widow is at her husband’s funeral. “We were married thirty- five years before he died.” She said, dabbing away the tears. “Never had an argument in all those years.”

“Amazing,” said a woman next to her. “How did you do it?”

“I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”

November Horoscopes

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Funny Jokes

October 30, 2008 at 8:14 am (1)

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. 2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. 3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids’ names on them. 4. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven’s Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. 5. You change your underwear after every sneeze. 6. You’re on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendale’s.

AIDS Hotline

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Funny Quotes – Insults

August 28, 2008 at 12:16 am (1)

A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.
– Benjamin Disraeli

September Horoscopes

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Funny Quotes – Insults

August 28, 2008 at 12:06 am (1)

The greatest thing since they reinvented unsliced bread.
– William Keegan

September Horoscope

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Funny Quotes – Insults

July 18, 2008 at 1:14 pm (1)

Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time.
– Frederic Raphael

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Funny Jokes

June 30, 2008 at 6:31 pm (1)

What Does Love Mean???

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love mean?” The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” …Rebecca – age 8 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.” …Billy – age 4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” …Karl – age 5

4th of July Quotes

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Funny Jokes

June 30, 2008 at 6:18 pm (1)

Fallen!

I recall a time when my son was about 18 months old… I had him strapped in a backpack and was rushing to catch the bus. Apparently I misstepped and fell down an entire flight of stairs, (13 to be exact). I was bruised, bleeding and I had torn my jeans… but my main concern was, naturally for my child.

My fears were alleviated though, when from behind me I heard a gleeful giggle followed by, “Again!”

Love Sayings

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