4th of July Jokes

July 3, 2009 at 11:10 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

4th of July Jokes

Funny Jokes4th of July JokesHow is a healthy person like the United States?
They both have good constitutions!

What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?
Beneduck Arnold!

What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?
The Liberty Bellhop!

What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
Liberty!

What was General Washington’s favorite tree?
The infantry!

What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?
The Boston Flea Party!

4th of July Quotes

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British!

What ghost haunted King George III?
The spirit of ‘76!

Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
He was a Yankee doodler!

Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!

What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
Yankee Poodle!

4th of July Quotes

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!

What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!

What dance was very popular in 1776?
Indepen-dance!

What march would you play at a jungle parade?
“Tarzan Stripes Forever”!

Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
Because they’re both cracked!

What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
The Battle of Bonkers Hill.

Fourth of July Recipes

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Mother’s Day Jokes

May 7, 2009 at 9:23 pm (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Mother’s Day Joke

Last year I got my wife a Mothers’ Day gift that left her speechless.

In fact, she didn’t speak to me for three weeks.

Mother’s Day Jokes

Mothers Day Jokes

You Know You Have Become a Mother When…

You automatically double-knot everything you tie.

You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes.

You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth even though your children are at school!

You start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce.

You weep through the scene in Dumbo when his mom is taken away, not to mention what Bambi does to you.

You get so into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells.

You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, “Mom, why don’t you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?”

You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you’ve reached over and started to cut up his steak!

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Ronald Reagan

May 6, 2009 at 5:37 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Funny Quotes – Government Quotes

Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

– Ronald Reagan

Famous Sayings

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Government is the Great Fiction

May 5, 2009 at 6:34 am (1) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Funny Quotes – Government Quotes

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.

– Frederic Bastiat

Quotes Funny

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Government Quotes – Funny Quotes

May 4, 2009 at 11:31 am (1) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Funny Government Quotes

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

– P.J. O’Rourke

Government Quotes

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Funny Quotes – Foreign Aid

May 3, 2009 at 7:09 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Funny Quotes – Government Quotes

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

– Douglas Casey

Funny Jokes

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Funny Quotes – Democracy

May 2, 2009 at 6:57 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Funny Quotes – Government Quotes – Democracy Quotes

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.

– James Bovard

Funny Quotes

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Funny Government Quotes

April 30, 2009 at 5:58 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , )

Funny Quotes – Government Quotes

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

– George Bernard Shaw

Quotes

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Government Quotes

April 29, 2009 at 6:35 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Funny Quotes – Government Quotes

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

– Winston Churchill

Sayings

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Government Quotes

April 28, 2009 at 7:18 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Funny Quotes – Government Quotes

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.

– Mark Twain

Famous Quotes

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