4th of July Jokes
4th of July Jokes
They both have good constitutions!
What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?
Beneduck Arnold!
What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?
The Liberty Bellhop!
What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
Liberty!
What was General Washington’s favorite tree?
The infantry!
What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?
The Boston Flea Party!
What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British!
What ghost haunted King George III?
The spirit of ‘76!
Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
He was a Yankee doodler!
Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
Yankee Poodle!
Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!
What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!
What dance was very popular in 1776?
Indepen-dance!
What march would you play at a jungle parade?
“Tarzan Stripes Forever”!
Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
Because they’re both cracked!
What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
Fourth of July Recipes
Government Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
– Gerald Ford
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
There is no distinctly native American criminal class… save Congress.
– Mark Twain
Funny Quotes – Fools
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
– Herbert Spencer
Tax Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
– Mark Twain
Government Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
– Ronald Reagan
Government Quotes – Congress
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
Talk is cheap… except when Congress does it.
– Anonymous
Government Quotes – The Legislature
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
– Mark Twain
Funny Quotes – Politics
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you.
– Pericles (430 B.C.)