Tax Cuts – As Explained By A Democrat
If you don’t understand the Democrats’ version of tax cuts (and you are not alone), maybe this will help explain it:
50,000 people go to a baseball game, but the game was rained out. A refund was then due
The team was about to mail refunds when the Congressional Democrats stopped them and suggested that they send out refund amounts based on the Democrat National Committee’s interpretation of fairness.
After all, if the refunds were made based on the price each person paid for the tickets, most of the money would go to the ticket holders of the most expensive tickets. That would be unfair and unconscionable.
People in the $10 seats will get back $15, because they have less money to spend. Call it an “Earned Income Ticket Credit.” Persons “earn” it by demonstrating little ambition, few skills and poor work habits, thus keeping them at entry-level wages.
People in the $25 seats will get back $25, because that’s only fair.
People in the $50 seats will get back $1, because they already make a lot of money and don’t need a refund. After all, if they can afford a $50 ticket, then they must not be paying enough taxes.
People in the $75 luxury seats will have to pay another $50, because they have way too much to spend.
The people driving (or walking) by the stadium who couldn’t afford to watch the game will get $10 each, even though they didn’t pay anything in, because they need the most help (sometimes known as Affirmative Action!).
Now do you understand?
If not, contact Representative Nancy Pelosi, Senator Ted Kennedy or Senator Hillary Clinton for assistance.
Tax Jokes – Tax Return
Letter to the IRS
A letter to the IRS
Dear Internal Revenue Service:
Enclosed you will find my 2006 tax return showing that I owe
$3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from the USA
Today newspaper, dated 12 November, wherein you will see the
Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying
$171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.
I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six
(6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot,
bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00. Please apply the
overpayment of $22.00 to the “Presidential Election Fund,” as
noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them
one (1) 1.5″ Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from
USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for
1.5″ Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look
forward to paying it again next year.
A Satisfied Taxpayer
Which sort of taxation is fairest?
At a business conference in Montpelier, Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the audience which sort of taxation they found fairest. There was a pause, and then a white haired man in the back raised his hand. “The poll tax,” he said.
“But the poll tax was repealed,” replied the commissioner.
“Ay-ah,” declared the man, “that’s what I like best about it.”