Mommy Test…

February 11, 2008 at 9:46 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Men Jokes, Mother Jokes, Mothers) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up something

off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that.

“Why?”

“Because it’s been laying outside and is dirty and probably has germs.”

At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Wow! How

do you know all this stuff?”

“Uh,” I was thinking quickly, everyone knows this stuff, “Um, it’s on the

Mommy test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mommy.”

“Oh.”

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently

pondering this new information.

“I get it!!!!” she beamed.

“Then if you flunk, you have to be the Daddy.”

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Funny Jokes – The Mommy Test…..

October 28, 2007 at 5:33 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Men Jokes, Mother Jokes, Mothers) (, , , , , , )

Funny Jokes – The Mommy Test…..

I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.

I asked her not to do that.

“Why?

“Because it’s been laying outside and is dirty and probably has
germs.”

At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and
asked, “Wow! How do you know all this stuff?”

“Uh,” I was thinking quickly, “…everyone knows this stuff. Um,
it’s on the Mommy test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you
be a Mommy.”

“Oh.” We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was
evidently pondering this new information.

“I get it!” she beamed. “Then if you flunk, you have to be the
Daddy.”

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Joke of the Day Kitchen signs

October 21, 2007 at 5:59 am (Cleaning, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Life, Life Jokes, Mother Jokes, Mothers) (, , , , )

1. Kitchen closed – – this chick has had it!
2. Martha Stewart doesn’t live here!!
3. I’m creative; you can’t expect me to be neat too!
4. So this isn’t Home Sweet Home… Adjust!
5. Ring Bell for Maid Service…If no answer do it yourself!
6. I clean house every other day…. Today is the other day!
7. If you write in the dust, please don’t date it!
8. I would cook dinner but I can’t find the can opener!
9. My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!
10. A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.

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Weight Loss

April 12, 2007 at 4:21 pm (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Diet Jokes, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Holiday Humor, Holiday Jokes, Holidays, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Mother Jokes, Mothers, Weight Loss Jokes, Women Jokes)

Weight Loss

Always looking for a way to drop a few pounds, I was listening closely to a radio spot for a weight-loss center. The announcer’s voice dripped calories as he intoned “Egg nog, gravy, stuffing, cranberries, apple pie…All delicious, but be careful.” He went on to describe more weight inducing items, and concluded by relaying the message that “The average American gains between four and seven pounds over the holiday season.”

My 5-year-old son, also listening, turned to me and said, “Oh, Mom, aren’t you glad you don’t have to worry about that?”

Surprised, I asked what he meant by that.

He replied, “‘Cause we’re not Average-Americans, we’re Irish- Americans! Right, Mommy?”

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SORRY I’M LATE

March 13, 2007 at 7:20 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Girl, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Mother Jokes, Mothers)

SORRY I’M LATE

Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy voice I said hello. The party on the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into a lengthy speech. “Mom, this is Susan and I’m sorry I woke you up, but I had to call because I’m going to be a little late getting home. See, Dad’s car has a flat but it’s not my fault. Honest! I don’t know what happened. The tire just went flat while we were inside the theater. Please don’t be mad, okay?”

Since I don’t have any daughters, I knew the person had misdialed. “I’m sorry dear, “I replied, “but you’ve reached the wrong number. I don’t have a daughter named Susan.”

“Gosh, Mom,” came the young woman’s voice, “I didn’t think you’d be this mad.”

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Joke of the Day – Mothers

August 16, 2006 at 10:36 pm (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Death, Death Jokes, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, Italian Jokes, Jewish Jokes, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Mother Jokes, Mothers)

Q: What’s the difference is between a Jewish mother and an
    Italian one?
A: An Italian mother says “Eat your dinner or I’ll kill you.”
    A Jewish mother says “Eat your dinner or I’ll kill myself.”

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