Irish Jokes

March 17, 2009 at 11:26 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, famous, famous jokes, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Joke of the Day

Irish Quotes

St. Patrick’s Day Quotes

Saint Patrick was a gentleman…Who through strategy and stealth…
Drove all the snakes from Ireland…Here’s a drinkee to his health!
But not too many drinkees…Lest we lose ourselves and then…
Forget the good Saint Patrick…And see them snakes again!
– Unknown

==

Best Bar in The World

Three Irishman are drinking at a bar. he first says: “Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, there’s a better one. At MacDougal’s, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!”

The second then starts: “That sounds like a nice bar, but where I come from, there’s a better one called Quinns. At Quinns, you buy a drink, Quinn buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Quinn buys you another drink.”

Then the third pipes up. “You think that’s good? Where I come from, there’s this place called Murphy’s. At Murphy’s, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!”

“Wow!” say the other two. “That sounds fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?” “No,” replies their friend, “but it happened to my sister!”

==

May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow,
and may trouble avoid you wherever you go.
–Irish Blessing

==

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields and,
Until we meet again
–An Irish Blessing

Irish Recipes

Irish Jokes

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Happy New Year – Is Everybody Happy

January 3, 2009 at 7:43 pm (Comedy, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Political Humor, Political Jokes, President) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Happy New Year…Is Everybody Happy!!!??? (Author A. Nonymous)
I want you to be the first to send you this Happy New Year greeting
As I reflect on 2008, I can say we had a great year:
Blacks are happy: Obama was elected.
Whites are happy: O.J. Simpson is in jail.
Democrats are happy: George Bush is leaving office.
Republicans are happy: Democrats will finally quit saying George Bush stole the election.
And all of us are happy: The election is finally over!
2009 should be even better:

Immediately after his inauguration, Barack Hussein Obama will balance the budget, revive the economy, solve the real estate problem, solve the auto industry problem, solve our gas/alternative energy problem, stop the fires and mudslides in California, ban hurricanes and tornadoes, stop identity theft, reverse global warming, find Osama bin Laden, solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, get rid of corruption in government and achieve world peace. Then on the 7th day, He will go back to Hawaii and rest!

– Source unknown (it came from my MIL)

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Thanksgiving Joke – How Long to Cook a Turkey

November 21, 2008 at 11:49 am (Animals, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, famous, famous jokes, Food Jokes, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Thanksgiving Jokes

Would you please help me I bought a 10 pound turkey. Could you tell me how long to cook it in my new microwave?

“Just a minute,” the food editor said, as he turned to check his reference book.

“Oh, thank you,” she said. “You’ve been a big help.  Good-bye!”

Thanksgiving Jokes

Roasting a Turkey

Cooking Turkey

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Famous Jokes – Joke of the Day

November 10, 2008 at 7:40 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, famous, famous jokes, Food Jokes, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , )

Famous Jokes

A Dinner Blessing…..

Ed, was a strictly a ‘meat-and-potatoes’ man. Over the years, he’s learned to like more foods, but there are still two vegetables he won’t eat. His family likes to tease him about it.

One year at a holiday gathering, Ed got the last laugh when he gave this cute tongue-in-cheek blessing: Now we sit to eat what’s here; we pray no green stuff will appear. No Brussels sprouts or any such
and asparagus, Lord, would be too much. But give us meat that’s white or red and potatoes, corn and lots of bread. Some good brown gravy wouldn’t hurt and to top it off, some pie for dessert.

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Dear Fellow Business Owner

October 27, 2008 at 5:04 pm (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Political Humor, Political Jokes, Politics, President) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Posted today at Funny Jokes

Dear Fellow Business Owner

Dear Fellow Business Owners:

As a business owner who employs 30 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama will be our next president, and that my taxes and fees will go up in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Customer will have to see an increase in my fees to them of about 8-10%. I will also have to lay off six of my employees. This really bothered me as I believe we are family here and didn’t know how to choose who will have to go. So, this is what I did.

I strolled thru the parking lot and found eight Obama bumper stickers on my employees cars. I have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off.

I can’t think of another fair way to approach this problem. If you have a better idea, let me know. I am sending this letter to all business owners that I know.

Sincerely,

Business Owner

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Signs Of Christmas

September 11, 2008 at 3:49 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Signs Of Christmas

Toy Store: “Ho, ho, ho spoken here.”

Bridal boutique: “Marry Christmas.”

Outside a church: “The Original Christmas Club.”

At a department store: “Big pre-Christmas sale.
Come in and mangle with the crowd.”

A Texas jewelry store: “Diamond tiaras — $70,000.
Three for $200,000.

A reducing salon: “24 Shaping Days until Christmas.”

In a stationery store: “For the man who has everything…
a calendar to remind him when payments are due.”

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Real Estate Sales

September 10, 2008 at 4:18 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The real estate salesman

A Real Estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water.

“That customer’s going to come back here pretty mad,” he said to his boss. “Should I give him his money back?”

“Money back?” roared the boss. “What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat.”

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Joke of the Day – Jewish Grandmother – Directions

September 9, 2008 at 4:26 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Funny Jokes – Jewish Grandmother – Directions

A Jewish grandmother giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife: “You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T. There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell”.

“Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow”?

“You’re coming empty handed?”

Funny Jokes

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Christmas Gifts

September 8, 2008 at 4:47 am (Christmas, Christmas Humor, Christmas Jokes, Comedy, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Holiday Humor, Holiday Jokes, Holidays, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Joke of the Day – What To Say About That “Special” Christmas Gift

Christmas Humor

Hey! There’s a gift!

Well, well, well …

Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit.

This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

Gosh! I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires.

If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!

I love it — but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.

To think…I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

I really don’t deserve this.

It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me.

Quite Funny Jokes

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Joke of the Day – Time to Rest

September 7, 2008 at 10:47 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

TIME

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city’s major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.

“Yes?”

“Excuse me, sir,” the jogger said, “do you have the time?”

The man looked at the car clock and answered, “8:15”. The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.

“Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?”

“8:25!”

The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, “I do not know the time!”

Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.

“Sir, sir? It’s 8:45!”

More Funny Jokes

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