A Little Dirty…

February 26, 2008 at 9:30 am (Aging Jokes, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Doctor Jokes, Entertainment, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Medical Jokes, Off-Color) (, , , , , , , )

A 97 year old man goes into his doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I want my sex drive lowered.”

“Sir”, replied the doctor, “You’re 97. Don’t you think your sex drive is all in your head?”

“You’re darn right it is!” replied the old man. “That’s why I want it lowered!”

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Today’s Sermon at the Church Of Chuckles

February 19, 2008 at 12:58 pm (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Doctor Jokes, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day) (, , , , , , , , )

You can’t blame God for everything.

God made Michael Jackson a handsome black boy.

Plastic surgeons turned him into a hideous white woman.

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Twins

February 18, 2008 at 11:01 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Doctor Jokes, Entertainment, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced

to the rest of his family who were waiting for the news: “We

had twins!”

The family was so excited they immediately asked, “Who do

they look like?”

The father paused, smiled, and said, “Each other.”

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Latex Gloves

February 15, 2008 at 11:46 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Doctor Jokes, Entertainment, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Off-Color) (, , , , , , , , )

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady,

was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his

latex gloves.

“Do you know how they make these gloves?” he asked.

“No, I don’t,” she replied.

“Well,” he spoofed, “there’s a building in Mexico with a

big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank,

dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw

them into boxes of the right size.”

She didn’t crack a smile.

“Oh, well. I tried,” he thought.

But five minutes later, during the procedure she burst out

laughing.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“I was just envisioning how condoms are made!”

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Jokes of the Day – Optometrist Charges

October 14, 2007 at 5:22 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Doctor Jokes, Entertainment, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Life Jokes)

An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer: “As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say ‘$75.’ …”

“If his eyes don’t flutter, say, ‘For the frames. The lenses will be $50.’…”

“If his eyes still don’t flutter, you add … ‘Each.'”

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Joke of the Day – Meeting of Psychiatrists

July 10, 2007 at 4:14 pm (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Doctor Jokes, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Psychiatrist, Psychiatrist Jokes)

Psychiatrists Meeting

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, “People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems.” The others agreed.

Then one said, “Since we are all professionals, why don’t we take some time right now to hear each other out?”
The other three agreed.

The first then confessed, “I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients.”

The second psychiatrist said, “I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want.”

The third followed with, “I’m involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me.”

The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, “I know I’m not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t keep a secret…”

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Joke of the Day – Elderly Man

July 9, 2007 at 4:17 pm (Aging Jokes, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Death, Death Jokes, Doctor Jokes, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Life, Life After Death, Life Jokes)

THE MONITOR confirmed cardiac arrest as an elderly
man suddenly lost consciousness. After about 20 seconds of
resuscitation, he came to. Explaining to him that his heart had
momentarily stopped, I asked if he remembered anything unusual
during that time.

“I saw a bright light,” he said, “and in front of me
a man dressed in white.”

Zeroing in on this near-death impression, I inquired
if he could describe the figure.

“Sure, doctor,” he replied. “It was you.”

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