Top 45 Oxymorons

February 22, 2008 at 9:42 am (Computer Jokes, Computers, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Diet Jokes, Entertainment, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Life, Life Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Top 45 Oxymorons

Now top 75 Oxymorons with additions by twitter people identified below

Some other fun stuff when you are done here:

Famous Quotes . Sayings . Funny Jokes . Famous Recipes

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45. Act naturally
44. Found missing
43. Resident alien
42. Advanced BASIC
41. Genuine imitation
40. Airline Food
39. Good grief
38. Same difference
37. Almost exactly
36. Government organization
35. Sanitary landfill
34. Alone together
33. Legally drunk
32. Silent scream
31. Living dead
30. Small crowd
29. Business ethics
28. Soft rock
27. Butt Head
26. Military Intelligence
25. Software documentation
24. New classic
23. Sweet sorrow
22. Childproof
21. “Now, then …”
20. Synthetic natural gas
19. Passive aggression
18. Taped live
17. Clearly misunderstood
16. Peace force
15. Extinct Life
14. Temporary tax increase
13. Computer jock
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Pretty ugly
5. Twelve-ounce pound cake
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate
1. Microsoft Works

Adding more Oxymorons to the top 45 Oxymorons based on this twitter message: Oxymorons

46. Jumbo Shrimp via @wbaustin
47. Deafening Silence via @PhoenixComedy
48. Hotwater Heater via @tinkertoytech
49. Forward Retreat via @wbaustin
50. Open Secret via @wbaustin
51. Bittersweet via @wbaustin
52. Uniquely Similar via @wbaustin
53. Civil War via @wbaustin
54. Organized Mess via @wbaustin
55. Smart Politician via @Rauterkus
56. Completely Unfinished via @wbaustin
57. Partially Complete via @DavidGleason
58. Freezer burn via @wbaustin
59. Rock opera via @wbaustin
60. Reality TV via @KarenSloan
61. Handsoff mentoring via @andybrwn
62. Organic pesticide via @wbaustin
63. legendary new novel via @jemyl41
64. secondary headline via @jemyl41
65. legend in his own time via @jemyl41
66. clean dirt via @jemyl41
67. sanitized soil via @jemyl41
68. civil service via @BCLobbyist
69. Great Depression via @alfabettezoupe
70. Cold Sweat via @saiffe
71. Latin America via @saiffe
72. simply confusing via @cyndeZu
73. Amtrak Schedule via @paulhyland
74. Virtual Reality via @paulhyland
75. Corporate Responsibility via @paulhyland

(Please feel free to add more in comments or via twitter in response to the tweet above or by @reply to @wbaustin)

Rush Hour

Rush Hour



  1. mandoron said,

    That’s good stuff! Thanks.

  2. jeremy said,

    Ha ha microsoft works, I remember that one from the 90’s.

  3. muzikflow said,

    Alot of these are really funny to look at man, its almost scary to really see in writing how foolish the general public sphere can be using these here oxymorons that we here are all guilty of using on occasion. Nice Blog

  4. Steve A Furman said,

    These are great. In the same camp as another of my favorite categories, The Department of Redundancy Department. UPC Code, etc.

  5. Share-it Saturday, Mar 1 « From The Mind of MandoRon said,

    […] top 45 oxymorons. I think my favorite was “clearly […]

  6. The Top 45 Oxymorons said,

    […] and “pretty ugly.”  After the jump you’ll find the Top 45 Oxymorons from Jokes of the Day, which is apparently a blog that couldn’t think of a better name for itself.  After […]

  7. Shanik said,

    Wow these really are funny. I just finished doing some homework on oxymoron’s. I didn’t copy any though; I had already done my own. These are really funny. Reminds me of this list of ridiculous laws my civics teacher told me about in class. Here are some of them:

    1.Widows can’t sky dive on Sunday’s
    2.If you cross the border and are about to commit a crime, it is your duty to call the police.
    3. It is illegal to stop a chain saw with intimate body parts.

    Seriously, some of these still make me crack up.

  8. Tyuhh said,

    Numberone is weak.

    • David said,

      Number one is the best of them all. While software from Microsoft does have nice features, the number one feature you require of an OS is reliablility, and Windows has been rather lacking in that department. But they seem to be getting better though, esp in their XP.

  9. media designer said,

    Computer Security? Business Ethics?
    Cynicism doesn’t make them oxymorons.

    • Owen said,

      Don’t be such a damp squib.

  10. Lynne Hart said,

    Used some of these as a group exercise in a training class we did. Got folks working well as a group..and got lots of laughs.

  11. Rebekahhi said,

    Happy Memorial Day is an oxymoron

  12. Madcom said,

    Thanks for the oxymorons. They are seriously funny!

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