Recently, I was diagnosed

September 2, 2007 at 2:25 pm (Aging Jokes, Attention Deficit Disorder, Comedy, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Life, Life Jokes)

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
 … As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and  decide my car needs            washing.
 … As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought  up from the mail box earlier.
 … I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
 … I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the  table, and notice that the can is full.
 … So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first. But then I  think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I takeout the garbage anyway, I may  as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only  1 check left.
 … My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house  to my desk  where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
 … I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t  accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should  put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
 … As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches  my eye–they need to be watered.  I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover  my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.
 … I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers. I set  the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot  the TV remote.  Someone left it on the kitchen table.  I realize that tonight when we go  to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the  kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water  the flowers.  I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.  So,  I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
 … Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
 … At the end of the day:

       *          the car isn’t washed
       *          the bills aren’t paid
       *          there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
       *          the flowers don’t have enough water,
       *          there is still only 1 check in my check book,
       *          I can’t find the remote,
       *          I can’t find my glasses,
       *          and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

 … Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I  know I was busy all day long, and I’m really  tired.
 … I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check
     my e-mail.
 … Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know,   because I don’t  remember to whom it has been sent.

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