Kids Say the darndest things…

August 26, 2007 at 9:09 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Entertainment, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Religious Jokes)

Say Your Prayers

UNANSWERED PRAYER? The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her
father always paused and bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his
sermon. One day, she asked him why.

“Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his
messages, “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.”

“How come He doesn’t do it?” she asked.

BEING THANKFUL A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your
mother says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she
say?”

The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”

EXPRESS PRAYER Our son had only heard his grandfather pray at Thanksgiving,
Easter, and other special occasions; when he, typically, said a long prayer
over the food. One night, after a fun camp-out and fishing trip, grandfather
(to our son’s surprise) asked a very brief blessing on the food. With a
gleam in his eye, our son grinned at his Grandfather and said, “You don’t
pray so long when you’re hungry, do you Grandpa?”

UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER During the minister’s prayer, one Sunday, there was
a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary’s mother was horrified. She
pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, “Gary, whatever made you
do such a thing?”

Gary answered, soberly, “I asked God to teach me to whistle … and just
then He did!”

TIME TO PRAY A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.

“Yes sir,” the boy replied.

“And, do you always say them in the morning, too?” the pastor >>> asked.

“No sir,” the boy replied. “I ain’t scared in the daytime.”

THE BLESSING My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she
turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the
blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” she replied. “Just say what you
hear >>> Mommy say,” my wife said.

Our daughter bowed her head and said, “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite
all these people to dinner?”

BEWARE OF TRASH One particular four-year old prayed, “And forgive us our
‘trash baskets’ as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS? When my daughter, Kelli, was 3, she and my son, Cody,
would say their nightly prayers, together. As most children do, we have to
bless >>> every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and
past).

For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would
say, “And all girls.”

As this soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this at the end,
my curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always
add the part about all girls?”

Her response, “Because we always finish our prayers by saying ‘All Men’!”

SAY A PRAYER Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother’s house Everyone was seated around the table as the food was
being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right
away.

“Johnny wait until we say our prayer.” “I don’t have to,” The boy replied.

“Of course, you do,” his mother insisted. “We say a prayer, before eating,
at our house.”

“That’s our house,” Johnny explained. “But this is Grandma’s house and she
knows how to cook!

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