Female Drivers

July 28, 2007 at 7:24 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Funny Stuff, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day, Sexist jokes, Women Jokes)

A Word To The Wise about Female Drivers

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I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder.

This evidently pissed the driver off enough that he hung out his window and gave her the finger.

“Man, that guy is stupid” I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here’s why:

I drive 38 miles each way every day to work, that’s 76 miles.  Of these, 16 each way is bumper-to-bumper;  most of the bumper-to-bumper is on 8 lane highway.  So if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like one car very 40 feet per lane.  That’s 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.  That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars on the areas not bumper-to-bumper.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.

Statistically, half of these are driven by females, that’s 18,000.  In any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. That’s 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding, that’s 449.  According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide, that’s 98.  34% describe men as their biggest problem, that’s 33.

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period and is armed.

No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn’t DREAM of giving her the finger!



1 Comment

  1. ashleigh said,

    OMG that is just too funny iwould have never thought of it that way… and im most definately female !!!

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