How to avoid the flu

November 29, 2006 at 2:31 am (Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Life, Sick Jokes) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

How to avoid the flu

Swine Flu Jokes

Eat right! Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies.

Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin c.

Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system.

Walk for at least hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs instead of the
elevator, etc.

Wash your hands often. If you can’t wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial
stuff around.

Get lots of fresh air. Open windows whenever possible.

Get plenty of rest.

Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.

OR …. You can take the doctor’s office approach. Think about it, when you go
for a shot, what do they do first? Clean your arm with alcohol.. Why? Because
alcohol kills germs. So……
I walk to the liquor store (exercise), I put lime in my Corona (fruit), celery
in my Bloody Mary (veggies), drink on the bar patio (fresh air), get drunk, tell
jokes, and laugh (eliminate stress) and then pass out (rest). The way I see it,
if you keep your alcohol levels up flu germs can’t get you!!!!

Swine Flu Jokes

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12 Comments

  1. Flu Jokes - Swine Flu Jokes - How to Avoid the Flu | Phoenix Arizona Real Estate Local News and Business Directory said,

    […] Source: Flu Jokes – How to Avoid the Swine Flu […]

  2. Marie Santander said,

    I phoned my doctor to get some info on swine flu but the line was very poor.
    All I got was crackling.

    How did the pig get to the top of the tower? The swine flew…

  3. andy said,

    “The only known cure for Swine Flu has been found to be the liberal application of oinkment.”

    “Apparently my mate’s got Swine Flu, I think he’s just telling porkies, though.”

    “Will there be a mass outbreak of Human/Avian Swine flu? When pigs fly.”

    “So Pig Flu has started in America. Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humour?”

  4. graybomeister said,

    There are meds available if you are concerned

    http://heavyhats.wordpress.com/2009/04/30/swine-flu-meds

  5. Matthew said,

    You know you have the swine flu when:

    You wake up with an apple in your mouth

  6. Matthew said,

    You know you have the swine flu when:

    You get invited to a luau only to be buried in the sand

  7. Matthew said,

    You know you have the swine flu when:

    Rummaging through you compost pile is happening around meal time

  8. Taylor Marek said,

    HAHA! That’s HILARIOUS! 🙂

  9. Eric Schulman said,

    Watch out, it’s the aporkalypse. A total hamthrax snoutbreak!

  10. Kun said,

    Pigs may fly, but Swine Flu!

  11. A. K. Green said,

    Want to know what is the last stage of swine flue? Check out: http://write.cuscusnectar.com/uncategorized/the-last-stage-of-swine-flu/

  12. Fancy Dress Code said,

    It was once sarcastically said that America would have a black president when pigs fly. 100 days into Obama’s presidency…….. Swine Flu!

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