“Internet Tips!”

September 23, 2006 at 8:55 pm (Cleaning, Daily Joke, Daily Jokes, Fun, Funny, Funny Humor, Funny Joke, Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous, Humorous Blogs, Humour, Internet, joke, Joke of the Day, Jokes, Jokes of the Day)

“Internet Tips!”

Is  housework and chores keeping you away from the internet?  Here are some sure fire short cuts that will have you back online in no time!
 
 


Simply close the lid of the toilet. Close the shower door or curtain. For the illusion of a freshly cleaned bath, pour some Lysol in the trash can. That should hold you until you finally get someone to empty the trash. And….then send the kids outside to the ol’ wash tub.
 
 
 


 

Laundry ?  Find a good place to hide it! Turn your clothes inside out and they will last another week.  For odors……spray with cologne.  If you absolutely need to do it, like you have no underwear (heck who needs underwear), wash them then stick them in the dryer. When it is time to fold them, DON’T!  Just run the dryer to get out the wrinkles when you need new clothes.
 
 


Call up a salesman for a vacuuming demonstration. Have him show you how the vacuum works in all parts of the house. Insist that even though the carpet looks the same, it really is different in all parts of the house.  Some valuable tips for success: Don’t always call same company, keep a chart and rotate.  If there are any stubborn spots that require scrubbing recruit the cat. You may have to add some tuna water to spot in order to insure a thorough job. It’s about time they earned their keep!
 
 


 
 
 

Wash the car ?   NAH !  Move it into the garage. Heck, you don’t use it anyway. It’s not like anyone is going to see you drive it!
 
 
 
 


 

If it doesn’t come off in the dishwasher, call grandpa to come help.  He’s always willing to do anything for you. For really stubborn crud, just throw the dish out and start fresh. An even better idea, use paper plates, plastic utensils, paper napkins, etc. Write everyone’s name on the plate or cup so they can use it over n’ over n’ over.
 
 
 
 


Mowing problems solved!  Raise goats for some extra income. Set them loose in the yard and they will keep the grass trimmed nice and neat. Plus they’ll eat any of the debris that gets in the yard. Sell them in the winter, then you can start with a new bunch in the spring.
 
 

Now ya’ have time for the net !

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