Government is the Great Fiction
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
- Frederic Bastiat
Government Quotes – Funny Quotes
Funny Government Quotes
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
- P.J. O’Rourke
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
- G. Gordon Liddy
Sayings
Funny Jokes
Bereavement
A bereaved widow is at her husband’s funeral. “We were married thirty- five years before he died.” She said, dabbing away the tears. “Never had an argument in all those years.”
“Amazing,” said a woman next to her. “How did you do it?”
“I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”
Funny Jokes
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. 2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. 3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids’ names on them. 4. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven’s Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. 5. You change your underwear after every sneeze. 6. You’re on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendale’s.
Funny Quotes – Insults
A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.
– Benjamin Disraeli
Funny Quotes – Insults
The greatest thing since they reinvented unsliced bread.
– William Keegan
Funny Quotes – Insults
Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time.
– Frederic Raphael
Funny Jokes
What Does Love Mean???
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love mean?” The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” …Rebecca – age 8 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.” …Billy – age 4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” …Karl – age 5
Funny Jokes
Fallen!
I recall a time when my son was about 18 months old… I had him strapped in a backpack and was rushing to catch the bus. Apparently I misstepped and fell down an entire flight of stairs, (13 to be exact). I was bruised, bleeding and I had torn my jeans… but my main concern was, naturally for my child.
My fears were alleviated though, when from behind me I heard a gleeful giggle followed by, “Again!”
