Funny Government Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
- George Bernard Shaw
Quotes
Government Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
- Winston Churchill
Government Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
If you don’t read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.
- Mark Twain
Funny Quotes – Government Quotes
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a Congress.
- John Adams
Johann Strauss – Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day
Johann Strauss was an avid mountain climber who once waltzed himself into deep trouble. He lost his footing and found himself hanging by his fingertips over a bottomless gorge.
Another climber heroically came to his rescue and just managed to grab Johann by a strap of his backpack to save the Maestro’s life. Since then, the act of trying to get out of a seemingly hopeless situation has come to be known as…
…grasping at Strauss.
Lion Tamer Needed
Funny Jokes
Joke of the Day
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.. The circus owner tells them, “I’m not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you’re history. Here’s your equipment — chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?”
The girl says, “I’ll go first.” She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion’s cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner’s jaw is on the floor. He says, “I’ve never seen a display like that in my life.” He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, “Can you top that?” The tough old golfer replies,
“No problem, just get that lion out of there
Jokes Funny Jokes
Horrible Car Wreck
THE CAR WRECK
The first year student had just gotten a beat up old VW beetle from his parents. When he took it for a spin, he misjudged the curve and overturned the car directly between the house of Mr and Mrs Smith and Mr and Mrs Balls
…
…
… luckily, he was pulled out by the Smiths.
Funny Jokes
